Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Selling Heresy

An elderly woman just approached me in the bookstore with two books in hand. The following conversation happened:

Woman: "Can I ask you a couple of questions?"

Me: "Yes ma'am"

Woman: "Do I have to ask you to order an ESL Bible?"

Me: "I'm not familiar with that, do you mean ESV?"

Woman: "Is that the one with the DVD? I want to listen to it in my car."

Me: "Are you looking for a Bible on CD?"

Woman: "No that's not it. Do you know what ESL is?"

Me: "English as a Second Language?"

Woman: "I guess you don't know much about Bibles. It's a shame that you have all these books but you can't help me get a good Bible. My second question is did you know *holds up
books* that you are selling and propagating heresy?"

Me: "Excuse me?"

Woman: "These books teach things that are heretical and you are selling them at a seminary. I wanted to make sure you know what you are getting in to and that you are leaving Jesus."

Me: "What makes you say that these books contain heretical teaching?"

Woman: "My pastor said so. He warns us against junk like this"

Me: "Are you glad that he warns you against bad teaching?"

Woman: "Oh yes, he's a godly man!"

Me: "And how do you think he knows that these books exist and what is written in them?"

Woman: *blank stare* "He...probably read them I'm sure"

Me: "So do you think it makes sense in training pastors to make them aware of the full spectrum of thought so that they can appropriately guide their congregations?"

Woman: "You don't believe heresy do you?"

Me: "No ma'am"

Woman: "Well I think I am going to ask this fellow [she pointed to the other person working in the bookstore today] if he knows anything about ESL Bibles"